Thursday, March 8, 2012

Passing T.ime

So, yesterday was Jared's 19th birthday. I went through the day, kind of in split-screen mode: one side on the day and the other side on a day 19 years ago. It went something like this:

Yesterday: Jared woke around 5:45, as he always does, made his own breakfast and got ready for school, walking out the door before 7 with his tupperware of chocolate gluten free cupcakes.

19 yrs ago: The doctors and nurses came in to tell me that my baby had many features associated with Down Syndrome. One doctor told me that we couldn't be sure that the child would talk, or when he would walk.

Yesterday: Mid-morning,Jared shared his cupcakes with his friends in science class.

19yrs ago: Mid-morning, I attended the "new mom" orientation (the one you had to take before leaving the hospital) with my baby, but making sure the blanket covered much of his face. I didn't want those moms, the ones with the perfect babies, to see mine.

Yesterday: Jared went to his work study at the nursing home, where the staff sang to him and an elderly gentleman slipped him a 5 on the sly for his birthday.

19yrs ago: I sat, crying in a hospital room, thinking that very little good lay before this child.

Yesterday: Jared took the bus to the YMCA, where he swiped cards for people and then worked out with his friend.

19yrs ago: The word, mongoloid, still lived in the reference books about our children.

Yesterday: At dinnertime, we dropped by the Y to get Jared on our way to his restaurant pick. As I walked in to get him, he was already heading out to meet me. I asked him how he knew I was coming. He said, something told him I would be coming and he wanted to meet me half way.

19yrs ago:  At dinnertime, I fed my son for the first time, and when we locked eyes, something must have told him that I would be meeting him; it would take awhile, but I would eventually meet him half way.

Yesterday: In the car on the way to dinner, Jared gave his brothers presents: a pack of m & m for his little brother, Bray, that he had received at his work study, and a watch for his other brother Jake, the one with the alarm that he can't seem to figure out.

19 yrs ago: Jared gave me a present that I wasn't ready for: a life where I would learn patience, compassion, and grace.

Happy Birthday to my son.

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