Self-Portrait...Jared at 13

One day, when Jared was in 7th grade, he came home with a gift for me.  He excitedly handed me a rolled up piece of paper which I laid aside because I was busy making dinner. I assured Jared that I would look at it later.  Dinnertime came, along with the usual school evening mayhem, and the rolled up picture was soon forgotten under a pile of dishes and dish cloths.  Later on, when things had quieted down, I found the rolled up document once again.  I unrolled it and found myself staring at a pencil sketching of what I assumed to be Jared's likeness.  I had known that he would be doing a self-portrait for 7th grade art class having heard about it with all the other parents at open house, but I was still surprised to have it, looking back at me, braces and all.  I was so pleased that Jared had once again proven that he could do what other kids in his grade were expected to do. Then I read what Jared had written underneath the smiling face: "He has Down Syndrome. That's me. Jared 10/6/06.
This gave me pause because I had rarely heard Jared discuss himself and Down Syndrome in the same sentence.  I guess it hit me pretty hard because this was his self-portrait; this was how Jared saw himself.  Through my tears, I asked my husband if he had seen the picture and read the statement.  He said that he had and that when he asked Jared about it,  Jared had replied that he wanted people to know that the picture looked strange because he has Down Syndrome.  My heart broke as I heard Jared's words repeated by John.  Was this how Jar saw himself?  The picture showed a face with braces and a tongue hanging out of a somewhat garish mouth.  The eyes were wide open and unfocused. I was aware that it was a self-portrait by a very immature artist, and that drawing was not Jared's forte, but it still hurt to see him that way.  The middle school years are a time for awkwardness and insecurity, and it pained me that Jared was going through the same feelings that other adolescents go through, but I was thinking it has to be hard for someone who is always a bit behind and doesn't look the way society expects him to look.  I thought back to my own junior high awkwardness, spending hours in front of a mirror willing my thighs to emulate those of Charlie's Angels and wishing that my overbite would magically straighten.  Now, Jared was on the brink of adolescence, and I was wondering if it would be harder for him.  From looking at his self-portrait, I think he might have been thinking so as well.