Growing up With Jared: Teen Angst...

Growing up With Jared: Teen Angst...: "Jared did 2 stupid things last week. Yes, I say 'stupid' at the risk of being politically incorrect, but really? Sometimes we do things that..."

Teen Angst...

Jared did 2 stupid things last week. Yes, I say "stupid" at the risk of being politically incorrect, but really? Sometimes we do things that can only be described as stupid. The first thing Jared did was ignore his girlfriend for not other reason than to be "cool".  Yep, his quest for coolness brought Gabby to tears, and unlike moms in a typical situation who often remain blissfully ignorant of teenage posturing, when our kids with special needs navigate the social scene, we are privy to much of it. Maybe it's because we are the ones who are driving them to special olympics and parties.  Maybe it's because our kids are like open notebooks, who have been read closely by us for years, so now when they are teenagers, we are still reading, still seeing everything, frankly, too much of everything. It's like watching an episode of High School Musical, and while it's nice to know that our kids are not sneaking off to have sex or do drugs (how could they with us watching them so closely?), sometimes it is exhausting having to live through the drama with them!  Gabby's mom helps me find balance. She gives me permission to let them figure things out for themselves, while being available should the need arise. I'm trying to live that because, at some point, Down Syndrome or not, Jared is going to have to figure out the social things by himself. It would be completely unfair for me to figure it out for him. Where's the learning in that? Where's the living? So, my lesson this week is, let Jared and Gabby figure it out. Resist the urge to pick up the other phone line while hiding in a closet somewhere in the house...yeah, that looks even more pathetic in print. And let Jared stumble and even fall.  We all had to do it and OUR parents didn't have to see or even know everything. I'll work on finding that balance between letting him live while being there if a fall proves to be a bit too much.  Jared learned how to dress himself, how to shower and shave, how to make nachos. He'll learn how to be a friend too.
Oh, speaking of shaving? The other stupid thing Jared did was shave off his sideburns, which turned into shaving off a good portion of the hair on both sides of his head. When I asked him why he did this, he said he wanted to look cool.  I think he looks like the lead singer of The Cure...

Growing up With Jared: Hasbro House

Growing up With Jared: Hasbro House: "The other night, Jared and his little brother were playing 'Life' on the Playstation, and while they were completing college, getting marrie..."

Hasbro House

The other night, Jared and his little brother were playing "Life" on the Playstation, and while they were completing college, getting married, and having 2.1 kids, I began think...
First spin: pick a chance card-You have just had a baby with Down Syndrome. Take 2 steps back.
Second spin: Discover a Down Syndrome support group. Go forward 3 steps.
Third spin: You've just discovered a hole in your heart. Have surgery. Miss a turn.
Spin again: Gluten allergy-no more cakes and cookies for you.
Spin again: Wegman's started stocking some really good gluten free options! Move ahead, feeling better and less deprived!
Spin again:  You win an inclusion battle at the local school.  Move forward
Spin again:  Pass a few opportunities, but realize that other doors have opened up.
Spin again: This one is my favorites: Obtain a "fast pass" from Disney World. Go to the front of every line. (new moms and dads of kids with a disability, you can totally get this pass, and darn it, it is so much fun going to the front of the line--our kids deserve to be in the front of the line sometimes!)
Spin again: Find friends to play in a kick ball league. Miss a turn because you are laughing so hard.
Spin again: Soar ahead! You just went to the prom with your girlfriend!
Spin again, and again, and again. Sometimes you will be pushed back. Other times you will move forward. And you will keep moving forward even if it seems like sometimes you are not moving at all.  Jared, you will win this game of Life.  And you will experience love and joy along the way. And promise me, you will keep spinning, and I promise you that I will be there when you take every turn.