Growing up With Jared: It's the Same...but Different Part 2

Growing up With Jared: It's the Same...but Different Part 2:      When we dropped Jared off for his week-long college experience, we got a hint of what it must be like to leave a child in a new place,...

It's the Same...but Different Part 2

     When we dropped Jared off for his week-long college experience, we got a hint of what it must be like to leave a child in a new place, with new people, so,  like millions of worried parents before us, we did the only thing we knew to do; we puttered.  We helped Jared take his suitcase and bedding to the suite that would be home for him and his two roommates for the next 5 days. My husband did what a lot of fathers must do in similar situations: He hooked up Jared's phone and made sure Jared was aware of where to charge it. As this was going on, I did what millions of mothers before me have done: I embarrassed my son, pulling out and storing underwear and socks in the bureau, not without Jared telling me to "stop waving his underwear around for everyone to see!"  It occurred to me as we stood in that dorm, that this would be the first time that our eldest son would be away from us without staying with or traveling with another family member. Jared's brother Jake confirmed this for me as he stood pensively watching his big brother make his bed with the help of his roommate. Jake said, a couple of times, "I hope Jared is ok." "He will be," I assured him (and myself) "He'll have a blast!"
     Jared pushed us out then. "You can go now. I'll be fine!" Leaving was strange, kind of like walking away as an invisible string held me to my boy, my oldest son, my Jared.  The same string, I'm sure, that has bound millions of mothers and fathers before me to their fledgling children; the same....but different. You see, Jared will be coming home in a few days, but now there is the possibility that there will be a time when a few days will stretch and when Jared really does go to his adult life and we are the place he visits.  But now, Jared will be back home in a week; a brief stay at "college", but a giant step on this journey.  When he was a baby, he walked; he was 21 months old, but he walked.  Last night, he told me I could leave. He is nineteen years old, but he told me I could leave. Read on...

 Texts from Jared's first night at college:

 Mom: Hi Jared! Put the Iannotti's phone number on your desk!
Jared: OK
Mom: Are you having fun? Remember to let the food people know you are gluten free!!!!  Love you!!!!!
Jared: Love you too
Mom: Is it awesome?
Jared: Yes. Stop texting me.
Mom: OK! Sorry! Bye!!!!

Growing up With Jared: It's the Same...but Different Part 1

Growing up With Jared: It's the Same...but Different Part 1: Jared says that a lot, when he notices someone wearing a similar shirt, or eating something that he's had before: "It's the same, but diff...

It's the Same...but Different Part 1

Jared says that a lot, when he notices someone wearing a similar shirt, or eating something that he's had before: "It's the same, but different."  I always chuckle when he says that. "Then Jared, it's not really the same, is it?" I say.  But I think I know what he means now when he says that.
     This past weekend offered yet another transition for Jared, that from graduate to "sometimes college student."  He is participating in "college for a week": a New Visions program offered at a local community college.  Individuals with special needs go live in the dorms, eat in the dining hall, and take life skills classes.  Since Jared has been saying he wants to go to this particular school when he is done with high school, we thought we would check it out.
     So, this past Saturday, Jared and I went to Target to "college shop".  As we stood there pondering toothbrush holders and travel-size sunscreen, I found myself asking him questions like, "What color soap dish do you want?" and "Make sure you pick up a toothpaste."  I said these things when people were close.  I wanted them to know that my child is going places, that like the tall boy with his stack of sheets and case of powerade, my son too is going to college. It's the same...but different.
     Jared treated me to sushi after our shopping spree (thank you to those of you who gifted Target at his graduation party!)  I  sat across from my son.  Again, I found myself thanking him for buying me lunch, thanking him so the people around us heard.  I'm not sure why I do that; Maybe I'm trying to prove to them that my child is growing up too, that he is a son to be proud of.  I think I'm convincing myself too.  He is a spectacular person, my son.  He's the same...but different.

Everybody Needs a Safe Place

There is a group of people who are out to change the world, to make it a better place for our kids. Thank you Ally and the rest of the board of GiGi's Playhouse Syracuse! Thank you for building a place for our kids to BE! Copy the link below and paste it into your browser to see what I mean! So exciting! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtJwZDdSJbA&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Growing up With Jared: Now what?

Growing up With Jared: Now what?: I just noticed the wallpaper on this blog. It features a road going off into the distance. I never thought about it, but it's a symbol, real...

Now what?

I just noticed the wallpaper on this blog. It features a road going off into the distance. I never thought about it, but it's a symbol, really, of this path that Jared is on. It feels a bit like limbo, where he is right now. He has graduated from high school, and with that comes the promise of independence and new journeys. But given the fact that Jared has one more year at high school, labeled by someone at some point as a " super senior" year, He's not quite finished with this part. I am adamant that next year does not look like last year. Jared HAS graduated. So, his days next year, will consist of few academic classes and mostly work study. A search, I guess, one that will result in a future for my son. I'm a bit scared. This is a strange time,an ending time, but not quite. A beginning time, but not quite. I invite you all to come with Jared and me now. Perhaps you might offer some ideas, some answers,some understanding for this next step on that long road. Right now, as I write, Jared is entertaining his little brother at the YMCA. They play basketball; then Jared buys his brother a snack,and they sit and chat, a grown-up thing really.