Growing up With Jared: Bug Bites and Leeches...

Growing up With Jared: Bug Bites and Leeches...: "With summer, comes camp.When I was a little girl, I attended Camp Cherith as a Pioneer girl. I learned how to canoe and swim, sing songs aro..."

Bug Bites and Leeches...

With summer, comes camp.When I was a little girl, I attended Camp Cherith as a Pioneer girl. I learned how to canoe and swim, sing songs around the campfire, miss my parents, and pray. As a college student, I was a camp counselor and equestrian instructor at Camp Chateaugay, where I learned how to take care of girls who were homesick, kayak, start a fire, and flirt with the guy counselors (not much of a learning curve for that last one...) Those two summers were probably the best summers of my young life.  There are those of us who cherish those "camp" summers along with smokey smells, bug spray and juice. Camp was a magical place, a world so far removed from everyday life, a world where nature became our "growing up" guide. I loved camp.  Today, I had the privilege of dropping Jared off to the local YMCA day camp, not as a camper, but as a Couselor in Training! Makes you think of the "CIT" song from that Murray movie, Meatballs, doesn't it?..."We are the CITs so pity us...."  Jared will fill his afternoons for the next couple of weeks acting as a helping counselor in a group that consists of a bunch of  first graders, two of whom have special needs.  If this works out, he will have an opportunity to work for two more weeks later in the summer.  It is hard to explain how I felt as he and I walked down the dusty road to the main lodge.  I remembered my dad dropping me of at a similar gravel path so many years ago- anticipation welling up inside as each step took me closer to camp's big meeting house.  Was Jared thinking the same thoughts that traveled through my head that summer? "Will the campers like me? Will I know what to do if someone is sad or hurt? Will I make friends with the other counselors? Will I want to leave when it is all over?" I'm happy for Jared. I want this to work so that he too will know that spectacular feeling of being a part of something that has been around for so many years, summer camp.

Growing up With Jared: Teen Angst...

Growing up With Jared: Teen Angst...: "Jared did 2 stupid things last week. Yes, I say 'stupid' at the risk of being politically incorrect, but really? Sometimes we do things that..."

Teen Angst...

Jared did 2 stupid things last week. Yes, I say "stupid" at the risk of being politically incorrect, but really? Sometimes we do things that can only be described as stupid. The first thing Jared did was ignore his girlfriend for not other reason than to be "cool".  Yep, his quest for coolness brought Gabby to tears, and unlike moms in a typical situation who often remain blissfully ignorant of teenage posturing, when our kids with special needs navigate the social scene, we are privy to much of it. Maybe it's because we are the ones who are driving them to special olympics and parties.  Maybe it's because our kids are like open notebooks, who have been read closely by us for years, so now when they are teenagers, we are still reading, still seeing everything, frankly, too much of everything. It's like watching an episode of High School Musical, and while it's nice to know that our kids are not sneaking off to have sex or do drugs (how could they with us watching them so closely?), sometimes it is exhausting having to live through the drama with them!  Gabby's mom helps me find balance. She gives me permission to let them figure things out for themselves, while being available should the need arise. I'm trying to live that because, at some point, Down Syndrome or not, Jared is going to have to figure out the social things by himself. It would be completely unfair for me to figure it out for him. Where's the learning in that? Where's the living? So, my lesson this week is, let Jared and Gabby figure it out. Resist the urge to pick up the other phone line while hiding in a closet somewhere in the house...yeah, that looks even more pathetic in print. And let Jared stumble and even fall.  We all had to do it and OUR parents didn't have to see or even know everything. I'll work on finding that balance between letting him live while being there if a fall proves to be a bit too much.  Jared learned how to dress himself, how to shower and shave, how to make nachos. He'll learn how to be a friend too.
Oh, speaking of shaving? The other stupid thing Jared did was shave off his sideburns, which turned into shaving off a good portion of the hair on both sides of his head. When I asked him why he did this, he said he wanted to look cool.  I think he looks like the lead singer of The Cure...

Growing up With Jared: Hasbro House

Growing up With Jared: Hasbro House: "The other night, Jared and his little brother were playing 'Life' on the Playstation, and while they were completing college, getting marrie..."

Hasbro House

The other night, Jared and his little brother were playing "Life" on the Playstation, and while they were completing college, getting married, and having 2.1 kids, I began think...
First spin: pick a chance card-You have just had a baby with Down Syndrome. Take 2 steps back.
Second spin: Discover a Down Syndrome support group. Go forward 3 steps.
Third spin: You've just discovered a hole in your heart. Have surgery. Miss a turn.
Spin again: Gluten allergy-no more cakes and cookies for you.
Spin again: Wegman's started stocking some really good gluten free options! Move ahead, feeling better and less deprived!
Spin again:  You win an inclusion battle at the local school.  Move forward
Spin again:  Pass a few opportunities, but realize that other doors have opened up.
Spin again: This one is my favorites: Obtain a "fast pass" from Disney World. Go to the front of every line. (new moms and dads of kids with a disability, you can totally get this pass, and darn it, it is so much fun going to the front of the line--our kids deserve to be in the front of the line sometimes!)
Spin again: Find friends to play in a kick ball league. Miss a turn because you are laughing so hard.
Spin again: Soar ahead! You just went to the prom with your girlfriend!
Spin again, and again, and again. Sometimes you will be pushed back. Other times you will move forward. And you will keep moving forward even if it seems like sometimes you are not moving at all.  Jared, you will win this game of Life.  And you will experience love and joy along the way. And promise me, you will keep spinning, and I promise you that I will be there when you take every turn.

Growing up With Jared: A Fairy Tale...

Growing up With Jared: A Fairy Tale...: "Once upon a time there was a queen who had a baby. It was a joyous event heralded near and far, but in just a few short hours, this dream, ..."