Growing up With Jared: It's the Same...but Different Part 1

Growing up With Jared: It's the Same...but Different Part 1: Jared says that a lot, when he notices someone wearing a similar shirt, or eating something that he's had before: "It's the same, but diff...

It's the Same...but Different Part 1

Jared says that a lot, when he notices someone wearing a similar shirt, or eating something that he's had before: "It's the same, but different."  I always chuckle when he says that. "Then Jared, it's not really the same, is it?" I say.  But I think I know what he means now when he says that.
     This past weekend offered yet another transition for Jared, that from graduate to "sometimes college student."  He is participating in "college for a week": a New Visions program offered at a local community college.  Individuals with special needs go live in the dorms, eat in the dining hall, and take life skills classes.  Since Jared has been saying he wants to go to this particular school when he is done with high school, we thought we would check it out.
     So, this past Saturday, Jared and I went to Target to "college shop".  As we stood there pondering toothbrush holders and travel-size sunscreen, I found myself asking him questions like, "What color soap dish do you want?" and "Make sure you pick up a toothpaste."  I said these things when people were close.  I wanted them to know that my child is going places, that like the tall boy with his stack of sheets and case of powerade, my son too is going to college. It's the same...but different.
     Jared treated me to sushi after our shopping spree (thank you to those of you who gifted Target at his graduation party!)  I  sat across from my son.  Again, I found myself thanking him for buying me lunch, thanking him so the people around us heard.  I'm not sure why I do that; Maybe I'm trying to prove to them that my child is growing up too, that he is a son to be proud of.  I think I'm convincing myself too.  He is a spectacular person, my son.  He's the same...but different.

Everybody Needs a Safe Place

There is a group of people who are out to change the world, to make it a better place for our kids. Thank you Ally and the rest of the board of GiGi's Playhouse Syracuse! Thank you for building a place for our kids to BE! Copy the link below and paste it into your browser to see what I mean! So exciting! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtJwZDdSJbA&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Growing up With Jared: Now what?

Growing up With Jared: Now what?: I just noticed the wallpaper on this blog. It features a road going off into the distance. I never thought about it, but it's a symbol, real...

Now what?

I just noticed the wallpaper on this blog. It features a road going off into the distance. I never thought about it, but it's a symbol, really, of this path that Jared is on. It feels a bit like limbo, where he is right now. He has graduated from high school, and with that comes the promise of independence and new journeys. But given the fact that Jared has one more year at high school, labeled by someone at some point as a " super senior" year, He's not quite finished with this part. I am adamant that next year does not look like last year. Jared HAS graduated. So, his days next year, will consist of few academic classes and mostly work study. A search, I guess, one that will result in a future for my son. I'm a bit scared. This is a strange time,an ending time, but not quite. A beginning time, but not quite. I invite you all to come with Jared and me now. Perhaps you might offer some ideas, some answers,some understanding for this next step on that long road. Right now, as I write, Jared is entertaining his little brother at the YMCA. They play basketball; then Jared buys his brother a snack,and they sit and chat, a grown-up thing really.

Growing up With Jared: Readying the House

Growing up With Jared: Readying the House: Last night, I went out and bought one of those air beds because my parents are coming soon, and the futon is just not big enough. On a prev...

Readying the House

Last night, I went out and bought one of those air beds because my parents are coming soon, and the futon is just not big enough. On a previous visit, Dad had gotten up quickly and proceeded to dump mom onto the guest room floor, so I think their sleeping arrangements need to be made a bit safer. So, back to my story...As I drove home, blowup bed next to me, I remembered, 19 years ago, buying a sleeper couch on what turned out to be the day before Jared arrived into this world. Like now, we needed an extra bed because a new baby was coming, and with a new baby come guests. Guests like my mom and my dad, my sisters and brothers, friends,... I remember setting up the sleeper couch, filled with excited anticipation of the arrival of the baby boy who was due any day.  A day later, Jared came, and my life changed. I'm glad for the bed, for the guests that came. When they arrived, however, it was not to celebrate exactly, but to console a young mom who, frankly was pretty scared and devastated at the swift turn of events. One of the first guests to arrive was my mom. I still can picture her, all those years ago as I walked down the stairs of the townhouse and saw her sitting cross-legged on the pull-out couch with my tiny baby looking up at her. She was taking each arm, each leg and moving them around, talking non-stop to this baby with some of the silliest faces I had ever seen. She was treating him like a baby, like her grandchild, not like an individual with Down Syndrome.  She was playing Mozart and waving 2 or 3 of those shiny mylar(sp?) balloons just within his sight. "Stimulation!" she said in that no nonsense way of hers, that voice known to me for 26 years. We laughed then. I remember, because I wasn't laughing a lot those days. "Talk to him all the time," my mom told me. "Expect him to do everything, and he will." I took her advice, and I have been talking to Jared all the time. I have expected him to read, to play, to do his laundry, to stay home alone, to have a girlfriend, to go to the prom, to be on TV, to be a big brother, to graduate, to work, and he has, and he will. So the bed is ready for the arrival of guests this weekend. My mom and my dad, my mom who has always expected and demanded the success of her children and of her grandchildren, and my dad, who was there to hold me when I cried in the hospital 19 years ago.  I expect he will provide a shoulder for me again this weekend as Jared walks across that stage, and I know that Mom will be standing next to me cheering for that boy. I ordered some balloons. I made sure to order a shiny one too. She'll like that, I think.